Leadership for dummies (MBA version)

So, you have gradated from that crème de la crème management school and all set to take over the world. Have you ever gave it a thought on what really matters? Is it knowledge, talent, smartness, networking skills or your live project experiences? None of this.

Your attitude, that is what really matters, or so it has proven many a time. Who's the cat? Yes, you are.

I started my career almost six years back, and I have had the privilege of working with a lot of respectable colleagues; respectable in terms of knowledge, managerial skills and networking skills. More importantly, they believed that mutual respect is the only way to have an inclusive workplace. Obviously, you do not have to worry about any of these, as you have that flashy academic tag around your neck and street smartness in your mind.

Though I'm sure you must have picked up a lot from your alma mater, here is my 1.32 rupees (that roughly converts to 2 cents) on how to sound like a (pompous) leader even if you do not know where to begin with. 


.....did I say 'pompous'? damn you inner voice!


Anyhow, lets get to the point(s) :

  1. When you talk to colleagues, ask them to 'make sure' that things are done 'promptly'
  2. When someone appreciates your academic tag or something that you have done, take all the credit, shelve humility. They might be trying to gauge you as a person, but do not give two hoots
  3. 'Thanks', 'please' and 'sorry' are three words which we remove from our dictionary
  4. If someone helps you out with something and did an exceptional job at it, casually call them up, ask how it went and tell them that you 'appreciate' their efforts
  5. Try and convince people around you that your interests are in exquisite arts, and sports that fit your persona. For instance, chess means you are oriented to intellectually simulating activities, F1 means you have an inclination towards speed (work=speed, speed=work and it's a rich man's game).  PS: FB likes can add a lot of mileage in this
  6. Always be busy, carry along a file/diary when you walk around. If you are at the desk, make sure that you're furiously typing in to that chat window
  7. Do not initiate talks, let others do that. And when they do it, talk exactly for 60 seconds (remember, you are always busy either physically or intellectually)
  8. "When I was at , I did " is a good way to start your professional conversations
  9. Finally, always say 'I want it by ", requesting is not your style.

I do not have a point #10, but I'm sure this lists can go on as long as I come across more instances. I will 'make sure' that those are published.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

'THE' Wednesday

Image
Obviously you know what it would be about, yes the big match today. Normally Wednesdays are like the half finished medicine bottles when you are ill; you know that you are getting well by the end of it but you still have to go through the torture and finish half of it. But this Wednesday, excitement is in the air, as India confronts our neighbour Pakistan in another head-on sporting battle. As we know, India-Pakistan matches are normally considered as the mother of all cricket matches and when it is the semi final match of World Cup, it acts as a natural pacemaker. Just like anyone else, I want Team India to win and it will be extremely delightful to watch Sachin and the boys (don't expect Dhoni and boys from me!) beating Pakistan in this spectacle. But let us keep it in a level where we can see it as a game, with pure sportsman spirit. Yes, I will be sad if anything goes against India in this game, but then we can try and avoid comparisons to terr...
Read more

Popularitchy

Image
"The green beer hashes onomatopoeia in the urge. Ailurophile fails after onomatopoeia. Will the expertise offend around onomatopoeia? The wonder renders the ruler. Ailurophile destroys the dirt next to the sober tone. How does onomatopoeia struggle after Ailurophile?" Before cursing me, or yelling "WTF!!" at me for writing the above paragraph I solely disown any connection with it except for finding 'Ailurophile' and 'onomatopoeia' from a site and putting it here . We have seen blogs/books/notes etc., which makes no sense but only noise and ultimately disgust through such style of writing (if I can call them so!). According to me, we basically write for two objectives; 1) To express oneself and to share it with a close group of people 2) To impress; mostly to appeal external audience, but the author derives some kind of satisfaction through his work, as people read, understand and enjoy it. There is a third type which is a mix of both, but ultim...
Read more

Fragile egos, failing society

We have failed as a society. Damn it, we have failed as living creatures. Malayalis can bury their head in the sand and flash their golden HDI card, while accepting that we are a morally corrupt society. This might come as a surprise, but Madhu would have been beaten to death regardless of his tribal tag. A majority of Keralites find it amusing to pamper their fragile egos by putting their nose in to others business. Ocassionally, this ends up in mob/group violence. Trust me when I say this, we are a coward lot if not in a group. We are apathethic towards stronger enemies. However, when we have our chance, we pound upon the weaker prey, and even kill him. You would not belive when I say that it is difficult to go out with my wife in certain parts of my town (Kottayam) after 7 PM. Young boys would come and peep through the car window, 'ensuring' that nothing illicit is going on. Madhu's case was a tad bit different. He was poor, moreover he was hungry. He had soci...
Read more